Sick Priorities

I'm sick today. For the gazzilionth time this new year, I am sick. I'm not just a little sick, I am sick sick. It's bad. It's a pro-d day today, so I am not actually missing any school. The issue arrises when I come to the realization of the fact that I am sick to the point that I cannot actually enjoy my pro-d day. On this lovely long weekend, I would really like to go out and introduce my friend to bubble tea. I'd like to go get some coffee with my friends. I would kind of like to go to my old school and practice with my panicky partner for an upcoming tournament. Can I do these things? Yes, I can. The problem is, I cannot do them with pleasure, or to the best of my ability. So, I guess in a way, I cannot actually do these things. That is why I will not be doing these things today. Well, not all of them, at least. 

Last night, I felt like I was getting better, so when my girlfriend called me and asked if we were still on for tomorrow, I said sure. Firstly, I really want to get together with her, as I haven't seen her in a while. Secondly, I really wanted to introduce my other friend to the BEST bubble tea in the city. I love going out with these two girls because they're amazing, too. Also, both of these girl's had recently agreed to travel to Victoria with me for 3 nights, just to watch my debate tournament! They seriously deserve me coming out to see them. Another thing is that we agreed to meet relatively close to my place, so I wouldn't be traversing the whole city just to see them (they however, are doing exactly that). So I have decided that because it would unfair for me to cancel a few hours in advance -despite the fact that they could definitely hang out with one another and despite the fact that they wouldn't be at all mad- I will be going to meet them. 

As for the panicky debate partner. He's great! I make fun of him for being a worry-wart, but he really hasn't been all that panicky these last few days - generally, he is though. So I was invited to his school's debate club meeting today, too. They have two sessions, one from 11am and one from 4pm. Both reasonable times, especially the 4pm block, which I'd prefer. However, I will not be able to attend either. Why? Because I woke up too late to attend the early one, and because the early one is also being led by some sex-obsessed cretin, who likes to spread rumours. I wish however, that I would drop this computer right now, go take a shower, put on some normal clothes and go to that practice, so that I can practice with my partner. Sadly, something in my head is telling me that it just isn't that important. I get to be lazy today, right? It's a long weekend, I can prepare my case with my partner some other time online. I'm sick and I don't want to make the relatively long journey over to my old school. Not to mention the fact that I really don't want to wash my hair right now (and I REALLY need to). 

Okay, so why don't I go at 4pm, well because -quite frankly- my friends are more important to me. If I meet them at 2, then I probably won't be able to just talk to them for an hour and then head out to my old school. Also, I think that I need to be at my apartment in order to let my little sister come in from school around 4. Yes, yes, I know, I'm just making up excuses. If I were really sick, I wouldn't be able to go anywhere, and I guess that that's partially true. But think about it, today is Chinese New Year, and the place that has the BEST bubble tea in the city is smack dab in the middle of a Chinese Market Place. That sounds SO interesting and fun! Debate, on the other hand, is starting to feel like a chore for me. I never thought that I'd say it because I was so infatuated with debate when I first started, but it is becoming more and more of a duty, as opposed to a fun time. Even debate with these awesome kids at my awesome old school is starting to feel heavy. As for my new school, the children are rather banal and the coach hates my guts (openly, too), so the lustre of that debate practice had eroded a while ago. In fact it has faded off so much for me that I actually skipped it last time. It's not even a real class! This isn't like when you skip math class or science because you didn't do the homework, or because you just hate the class and are forced to take it. This is like when you have something you love to do, and YOU elect to take it - then you skip it. It makes no sense. There's no homework, no tests - you just skip it. It's terrible. 

Now I will wipe the tears off my face, head for the shower and go meet my friends. We are going to have a good time and learn new things, all about the Lunar New Year. We are going to watch the expression on my friend's face when she tries bubble tea for the first time, and we are going to let loose. I will not think about Debate. 

Lastly, I want to apologize to my remarkable partner for his devotedness and his understanding in all situations. Sorry, I promise to come next Friday, and if you want, meet you over this weekend. You may be the very thing that makes me and Debate's relationship work again. If you are Debate's gift, he made a good choice, a choice which may just make me stay.